that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize