we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
