SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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