Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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