I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize