the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
