found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
