batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
