Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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