i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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