idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
