So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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