grandma shit on top of the toilet
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
