theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
there's paper in my vomit.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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