While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think i have two assholes
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
