so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.