He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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