I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i drank out of a bidet.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
