Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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