True but thats because hes a fetus.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
