Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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