OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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