I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My liver just had a heart attack.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i now understand why vodka
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
