great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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