I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
