Since when is my name a synonym for head?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
