she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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