the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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