I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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