who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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