I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
