My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
this beer tastes like vomit already
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize