Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize