Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There r osticjed everywhere
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize