the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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