Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize