I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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