im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
