i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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