i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize