why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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