Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
