i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
