ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize