when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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