Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
