Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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