i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
