So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
