Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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