It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
