Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
someone owes me an orgasm
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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