I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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