I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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