When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
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the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.