I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.