I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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